Being nostalgic makes it hard to be productive
Ack, one day I will remember not to kill my post as I'm just about to make it.  I think we need to turn this into a bad joke:  Expect Rob to eat his well thought out, heartfelt post at least once before each bi-weekly or longer post.  I feel so livejournal stupid right now it's not even funny.

Someone please point me to the icon that most represents ineptness.  I need to add it to my list.

I'm suffering a terrible disease of nostalgia right now.  I want to blame it on the catch-all fact that I've turned 30 recently, but I don't know if that's what I can attribute this feeling to.  I've been thinking about a lot of people, all clustered in these unique stages of my life, that I don't have any kind of contact with anymore.  And the shame is that many times, none of those people ever had contact with anyone I do interact with now.  So, once they start to slip away....they're just gone out of my life.  No powers of google-fu, or my creation of a facebook, or this livejournal, or anything else has so far helped me bring them back into my circle.

And I'm scared that maybe it's because I can't handle having the size friend's circle I want to have.  I'm about five years overdue on an email back to Leigh.  I managed to track down Jonathan Megginson and drag him back into my life - and for what? - I didn't email enough and I lost him to the ether again.  Natalie deserves a really good, long-written email that is five months behind and will probably push further than that.  I've not exactly been the poster child for upholding my end of the relationship.  But I want this - I may not have ever shown it, or said it, but there are a lot of people that stay in my thoughts...that I wish were more represented in my life.

I haven't been really good about putting the personal stamp of my touch on things.  Not here in livejournal, not in email, through the phone, or in letters.  So, if I want this I need to make changes.  Life is busy, but (albeit a bit longer after being eaten by my elite posting skills) this post only took a few minutes.  I need to get away from the screen of work and life being too busy.  Yeah, it f'ing is, but that's no excuse for good friends.

Lj-friends, all of you, I think about you and keep you in my thoughts.  Even when I don't post and I don't comment, I try to keep track and wonder how you're doing.  Yates, I really wonder how you're doing man.  Nyssa, did I read it right that you're engaged?  Dare I say I haven't sad congrats? Shame on me for that.  Everyone, don't think you're not important.  You are very important, and dear.  Thanks for reading this.